Your amber teething necklaces DO NOT work!

Amber teething bracelets are being worn by infants and toddlers... still! This is actually my favourite woo theory and I wish I had come up with this cos' I'd be rolling in it off these suckers. The THING is amber teething bracelets are almost fucking believable. It is believed by ALARMINGLY MANY that succinic acid seeps into the babies skin activated by body temperature. Firstly, succinic acid is only released from Baltic amber at VERY high temperatures – close to 200 degrees! Sorry, unless little Timmy's dads a dragon that ain't it chief. There is some history of succinic acid being used to treat pain. I could find no scientific evidence that it works. Why would you put beads around your babies ankles, wrists or neck, beads!? Not to mention THIS HAPPENED to a poor baby! Why would anyone want a completely unregulated dose of a chemical to flow into their baby? If these moms want to constantly low-dose medicate their child why not make make them a handmade necklace out of something that actually bloody works...